The Ghost of Shan Yu
by Lian-hua
Summary: Just a wacky parody poking fun at the little nuances of the Mulan characters


#  The Ghost of Shan-Yu

Disclaimer: This is a parody, not meant to be offensive or taken seriously. You know who belongs to Disney so I'm not making any claims. This is for entertainment purposes only. Because parodying falls under the "fair use" portion of copyright law, I have exclusive rights to this. You may not copy, borrow from, plagiarize or reproduce this in part or entirety without my expressed written consent. Enjoy.   


Chapter One: Every Single Grain of Rice... 

General Li Shang, leader of China's finest troops, no! No, the greatest troops of all time, rode through the streets of the Imperial City as swiftly as his fine white stallion would carry him. His horse, though magnificent, was truly an unusual one, for it was the first animal to consistently appear throughout a Disney movie which was not shamelessly shoved into the "sidekick/comic relief category" Shang was rather proud of this, as he liked to be taken seriously by lowly recruit and audience member alike. Yes, he liked to be taken seriously, right down to his... horsie... err... beast. Actually, he had a deeper attachment to his horse than Mulan did to Khan, only it was Shang's darkest secret, lest anyone mistake him for being perky. For as was the way with the things Shang loved, even though he walked away without it in the mountains, it magically reappeared back at the Imperial Palace precisely when he needed it.   
The place was a colorful array of shops and buildings, really a place where proprietors made their fortunes on selling cosmetics, jewelry and clothing to suit the ladies and fops at Court. Still, he rode on, anxious to reach his lavish manor house in as little time as possible. It had been a month since he had seen his new wife, Mulan, duties at the Great Wall had kept him away.   
Home was a welcome sight looming over the hillside. Shang all but threw his reins to the stable boy to dash through the gate and run inside, searching for his wife. The smell of food wafting from the kitchen brought a smile to his face, he had not had a decent meal in weeks. Mulan was an independent girl and tolerated few servants inside the house, so he knew the cooking was her own. She proved herself a fine cook actually, fine enough that Chien Po might even be jealous. The table was already set with dishes and chopsticks, which Mulan was arranging with care the very moment he appeared in the kitchen doorway.   
"Shang!" His wife exclaimed joyfully, dropping a set of chopsticks on the table and running to him. She threw herself at him so hard he took a step back to catch her in an embrace, crushing her delicate form against him. Her hair and skin smelled faintly of perfume and she was only loosely wrapped in a silk robe. Really, the girl had some strange habits, and bathing before dinner was one of them.   
Pulling back from him, Mulan glanced down at her state of undress and blinked. "The messenger had just come, announcing your arrival in the city. I had to hurry with dinner," she explained.   
"I don't care, Mulan," he laughed at her. No matter how silly a thing he caught her at, she would always struggle for an explanation. Maybe months of being her commanding officer had some kind of long term effect on her. Not that she had heeded his orders anyway.   
Leaning down, he scooped his small wife in his arms for a long kiss. Well, it was not a single kiss... it escalated into the pair of them falling back on the food laden table, pulling the tablecloth with them as they slid to the floor, still embracing one another. Shang looked up just in time as the rice bowls tumbled down on Mulan.   
Her robe had slipped, and fell off completely when Shang released her in haste to push some of the dishes back onto the table, but drops of sauce had already trickled down onto three skin, causing the rice to stick to her, and the little grains got in the darnest of places.   
"Oh, I'm sorry, honey-bunny," Shang apologized with a grin. She was so cute! "Maybe we should clean this up." He reached for a towel to help dust the rice off of her.   
Mulan grinned back, spoiling her glare of mock severity, Seizing her husband by the hair she yanked him down for another kiss. "You're damn right you'll clean this up!" she managed between kisses, indicating her rice covered form with her free hand, really it came out more like a squeak. Then she pushed his head lower onto her bare skin, whispering sensuously in his ear. "You'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice."   
"Mmmm," he mumbled as he began to kiss her neck, her shoulder, seeing nothing wrong with dessert before dinner. Then he lifted her up and carried her off with an enthusiasm that made her squeal.

***

It was close to dawn when the two lovers eventually fell asleep, long weeks of separations did have certain advantages after all, Mulan thought as she drifted off with a smile. A smile that was washed away by the horror of her nightmares.   
At first it was a dream she had had many times before, though the events of her marriage had caused her to forget it of late. She was kneeling in the snow, the cold wind biting into her skin, the burning of the wound in her side. Chi Fu was there, pronouncing her death sentence, all of her friends were there. Shang was there too, angry and menacing as he held a sword above her head, his rage seemed to feed the pain in her side, seemed to spark the wind. Then Shang's face became a very different face, holding the sword to another man's throat. "Bow to me!" his voice was a melodious thunder, its terror mysteriously sweet to her ears. He was a wolf with a cat's grace. The scene shifted, the sword was at Shang's throat and Mulan felt her heart cringe with fear. Everything played in reverse before her eyes, Shang pushing her out of the way, Shang falling to the ground, then Shang and Shan-Yu rolling around on the ground, fighting furiously for their lives.   
"Muaaahahahahah!!" A beast like silhouette roared from a rooftop, standing poised and triumphant against the darkness with a jagged blade in his hand. *Author swoons*   
"You will kneel in pieces!" The words rang in her ears, crashing through her mind. They seemed to tear her apart.   
Mulan bolted up with a scream, still seeing the Palace and the sword instead of the moonlit room around her. She jumped when she felt the weight of a strong hand on her shoulder and when a familiar voice called her name.   
"Mulan, what's wrong?" She let out her breath. It was Shang, not Shan-Yu. But she could not get the picture of her head, of them fighting on the palace floor. It was curiously.... erotic, the two of them. A small smile curved her lips, but the strangeness of the thought was not enough to numb her fear.   
"He was in my dreams," Mulan whispered to her husband in a fearfully hushed tone, as if Shan-Yu could still hear her. The man was dead! "Like a ghost, but I know it was real." She shivered, wondering why she felt so drawn to her fear of him. "I feel his presence, this aura, like he's... here."   
Being a practical man, Shang hugged his wife tightly and started to draw the covers back over her. "Mulan, listen to me," he told her as sternly as he dared speak to the woman he loved. "Shan-Yu is dead. We saw him die." Or she did anyway, all he had seen were the fireworks. "It was just a nightmare." Mulan shrugged off his attempts to comfort her and slid reluctantly under the blankets. Shang meant well, and he was a sensible man who had little patience for foolishness, but Mulan knew her own heart. She knew the dream meant something.

Chapter Two: Reflections:

Shang's eyes darted carefully around him as he strode the halls of the Imperial Palace, sending servant and guard out of his way with his "I'm the sexiest thing this side of the Great Wall" walk, crimson cape flowing behind him. *Author is a sucker for men in red capes*   
It was not that he anticipated danger to leap out at him from every corner, but Shang was cautious by nature, and did not believe in taking chances. Mulan's words had not planted any real fear inside his mind, but for him a possibly was enough. His wife was a little crazy - he admitted that to himself affectionately - but she had a fine sense of things that was hard to explain.   
The guards threw the doors of the throne room wide when they saw Shang, bowing low before him. The General's presence often started talk around the Court, the courtiers seemed to think it signified a crisis. Shang sighed, he hated Court. The Emperor was upon his throne, where he should be, regal in yellow robes and his flowing white beard. The unfortunate thing was the skinny old man seated at his right - Chi Fu - a slithering snake of a man who felt the need to take it out on others that certain.... inadequacies.... about himself caused him to be dreadfully insecure.   
"General," the simpering tone dripped with its usual dissatisfaction. He flourished the hand that held a quill, a rather feminine man at times. "What news have you brought from the Great Wall?" Shang was decidedly irritated, Chi Fu always seemed to think important matters should be first addressed to him and not the Emperor. Exchanging glances with the sage old ruler, the Emperor waved Chi Fu to silence without so much as glancing at him. Chi Fu glared at Shang, who affected not to notice. It was no his fault he was... short.   
Shang bowed respectfully. "Your Majesty," he intoned. "All is well at the Wall, the troops have been replaced, and reinforced, as you ordered." The last thing China needed was a second Hun invasion.   
"Good," the Emperor nodded. "And how is your wife, General Li?" The question was thrown out rather randomly in light of the topic, Shang thought, but despite himself he smiled. He found himself doing that more and more since he had been wed. "She is well, and at home." Again, the nod of the Emperor's head. Shang never understood why the man was so in favor of his marriage, he was just like Mulan's grandmother.   
Chi Fu sniffed. "Where a woman should be."   
Shang only glared at him.   
Outside the throne room again, Shang rubbed his head, unable to understand why he could not get Mulan's warning out of his mind. It was insane, but Shang was no fool - no matter how many times the animators made him fall on his head, and unlike Aladdin he began his sentences with "Umm" and not "Uhh" showing pensiveness rather than a perpetual loss of words. Anyway, usually when Mulan came up with something positively ridiculous, it ended up being the key to saving them all - well after it nearly killed him.   
The creak of iron and the slamming of a door turned Shang's head around. To his surprise, Chi Fu was standing there like the pompous peacock he was, trying to stare down his nose at someone more than half a foot taller. Even Mulan was taller than Chi Fu.   
"I have will have revenge on that.... woman," Chi Fu sneered, but quietly as though he were speaking to himself. Then he began scratching notes on his clipboard.   
Drawing himself up, Shang stepped forward to tower over the smaller man. "What did you say?" he demanded in his most dangerous tone. How he hated him.   
Chi Fu blinked, completely startled, genuinely startled. "I did not say a thing."   
Shang snatched the quill out of his hand. "You said... "   
Instead of being cowed, Chi Fu dropped the clipboard to the floor and stepped back, gaining enough room to raise his leg in a kick that sent the quill flying from Shang's hand.   
A shiver seemed to freeze the blood in Shang's veins as he clenched his aching fingers, staring at the elderly man in disbelief. Shang knew well how to fight, he could have grappled with the old man then and there and won easily, but some looming fear prevented him from stepping forward.   
"Chi Fu...?" Was all he could manage.   
"General?" Was the reply in his usual sing-song tone. "His Majesty has dismissed you for the present, why do you not go home?"   
The man was completely unaware of his reactions, and did not even notice the quill lying on the ground. Going home seemed a fine idea.

***

Chi Fu paced his chambers at the Imperial Palace adjusting his robes, a truly becoming shade of blue. Duties as a counsel men were tedious, but there was nothing like fine clothes to boost his confidence. That General Li Shang, he sniffed, the way he strutted around like he was the Ancestor's gift to warfare and virility, and that damned red cape... "Toro, Toro!" he sneered in the looking glass. Just because he was the taller man he assumed he could bully Chi Fu, the boy needed to learn that size was not the only way to measure a man. Well Chi Fu had been a young man once, and there were plenty of ladies at at Court to recall, only it was dreadfully humiliating for him when they did. Ahem.   
Still, Chi Fu had a terrible headache this afternoon, as if something were trying to break out his skull while it was still inside his head, perhaps a good soothing tea would fix it. Smoothing the wrinkles in his silks, Chi Fu began to hum in a high-pitched falsetto voice, a melody his mother had taught him long ago. Then the pitch lowered, becoming a low rumble in his throat. The singing stopped.   
"Pompous old man!" Startled, Chi Fu glanced frantically every which way around him. The words had come from his own mouth he knew, but the voice did not belong to him. He trembled, then took a dive to cower beneath the covers of his bed.   
Laughter spilled from his lips, not his own, but laughter that reminded him of the pounding of horses hooves, of the beating of a war drum. So treacherous, so alluring, the music was hypnotizing to his ears. He realized he was frozen in mid step, halfway to the bed, just standing there listening with a dissenting mixture of awe and horror. Something seized him by the shoulders, invisible hands that were strong as the raging wind stirring the leaves. He felt weightless, powerless, in their grip.   
"Have I chosen a man or a worm?" That voice demanded, tingled with steely mockery.   
Chi Fu felt his throat clench as he was lifted in the air and whirled around before the mirror. "A man," he choked, in mid spin.   
Again that laughter, resonating with that inexplicable quality. He opened his eyes to face his reflection in the glass, thinking only to see himself suspended in the air. His heart stopped, the world seemed to stop. No diminutive man gazed back at him, but instead a towering form with a face still obscured by shadows despite the full afternoon light. All Chi Fu could see were the eyes, shining like twin golden suns, too bright, too brilliant to stare into for long.   
A name formed on his lips, to match the image in his mind, then a parade of images. Shan-Yu   
"Think again, old man," The voice taunted. With a thud Chi Fu was thrown face down on the ground, as if a boot were standing on his back. It was painful. "You are a worm and I will teach you to crawl like one." The invisible weight pushed him lower, on to his stomach, the rug burning against his nose where it scraped the skin. "But even you can be of use, worm. They will not suspect you." The menacing laughter poured over him, the force lifted from his back so the boot could tip up his chin to see the reflection in the mirror. His eyes had not mistaken him, it was indeed Shan-Yu. Chi Fu swallowed hard, and in that indescribably terrifying moment a song tore from his lips

> Who is that Hun I see?   
Staring straight back at me   
Why is my reflection Shan-Yu?   
I don't know...

"You were dead..." Chi Fu breathed, afraid his heart would fail him then and there. Maybe it was a trick, an illusion. Maybe by some miracle the Hun had survived the explosion and was hiding somewhere in the room, maybe...   
"Almost," Shan-Yu replied. "But you will fix that." The face in the mirror smiled, merciless as death, and as patient. "For that I will spare your life."   
Chi Fu squealed like a girl.

***

The parlor echoed with voices, and opening the door, Shang found Mulan deep in conversation with her three friends, Yao, Ling and Chien-Po, the inseparable Gang of Three. They all greeted him, including his smiling wife who was pouring tea. Shang was amazed, she had learned to fight with weapons as well her hands in weeks, but it had taken her months to learn how to pour tea! At least there was none on the table now.   
"What's wrong?" Mulan asked him eagerly. Shang raised an eyebrow, was he so obvious?   
But he shook his head. "Nothing, I just saw Chi Fu today is all." There it was not a lie, and he did not have to worry her.   
The group nodded in understanding, nobody liked Chi Fu.   
"I was about to tell Chien-Po about Shan-Yu," He crossed his arms under his chest and shifted his feet uncomfortably. This must be serious if Yao and Ling were not brawling as usual.   
Chien-Po nodded. "Yes, go ahead, Mulan, please."   
Rising from her seat, Mulan stood in the center of the room, facing away from them to look off into the distance with a trance like expression. Then she turned to face them, singing in a dreamy tone.

> In sleep he sang to me   
In dreams he came   
That voice which speaks to me   
And calls my name   
And do I dream again? For now I find   
The leader of the Huns is there   
Inside my mind.
> 
> Those who have seen your face   
Draw back in fear   
I am the mask y-   


"Mulan!" Shang rushed over to cover her mouth hurriedly with his hand, whispering into her ear. "Andrew Lloyd Webber won't write that play for more than a thousand years... now shhh!" Expecting her to hear sense, Shang took his hand away. But he should have known better. When he removed his hand she only continued her song.

> In all my fantasies   
I always knew   
That man and mystery   
Were both in you

Shang looked to the three men, who looked back at him with equally stunned expressions. Mulan seemed possessed with the ability to sing, none of them had ever heard her sing before. Her song was mesmerizing to their ears, and soon the words faded into an extravagant vocal arrangement climbing higher and higher by the note. "Mulan, listen to me!" Shang tried to call her back from the trance, but as she met his concerned eyes, her voice bloomed into the last note of her song, crescendoing into a sound so high and crystalline it was almost inaudible to the human ear.   
Then her song stopped, and she fainted.

Chapter Three: Ancestors, Hear my plea

Mulan blinked to find herself lying in bed with Shan-Yu *Kidding!!! haha made you look!*. Strange, since the sunlight still streamed from the open curtains and the sky remained an afternoon blue. She felt dizzy, and a bit weak. Raising a hand to her forehead, Mulan frowned, unable to remember anything.   
"Are you awake?" A soft voice asked her, a touch concerned. She turned her head from the window, expecting to see Shang beside her, but instead it was the gentle Chien-Po, looking puzzled.   
"Where is Shang?" She asked, disappointed that her husband had not stayed with her.   
"He asked that I wait until you wake," he answered her matter of factly, Chien-Po was not one to pass judgment. "A messenger from Court came to him and said it could not wait."   
She nodded, swallowing hard. "All I remember is the dream." She seized her friend's arm with urgency, keeping her voice low. "He has this power... " The memory of the man waving the sword from the rooftop floated behind her closed eyes. "It frightens me, yet I feel drawn to him at the same time."   
Chien-Po considered this, in his quiet but wise way. It turned out that the former soldier had studied quite a bit of philosophy and spiritual things. "Sometimes dreams are there to deceive us," he answered sagely. "Sometimes there is a message our Ancestors send, you must learn it for yourself, and keep it in your heart.   
"Shang will not believe me," Mulan sighed, hurt.   
"Mulan." Chien-Po shook his head, his voice oddly emotional. "Ever since the day you came back to the Palace, Shang has tried to protect you. When he handed the sword to the Emperor, I saw his eyes, looking for them. He has always believed, Mulan." But Chien Po's words only made her sigh a second time. Maybe it was not to Shang that she should look for help.   
When her friend had gone, Mulan climbed out of bed and made her way across the grass to the temple. Kneeling on the stone floor, Mulan bowed her head as she prayed. "Honorable Ancestors, hear my prayer. Let me know the meaning of this dream." She raised her head just enough to see her reflection in the stone tablets, the pleading clear in her face. So desperately did she want to understand.   
"Mulan?"   
Her head spun at the sound of her name, and she was irritated at having her counsel interrupted. Contrary to popular belief, even sweet Disney heroines such as herself had their bout with unpredictable female emotions, and who better to take it out on than her husband who stood in the temple doorway, eyeing her as if he caught her practicing sorcery. Maybe it was to him, in the time she had known him, Mulan had only seen Shang pray once.   
Shang took a step forward. "What are you doing, Mulan?" He asked quietly, as if it were not completely obvious.   
"Growing rice!" She snapped. "What do people do in temples?" *Ok, let's not go there!*   
He arched his brow the same way he had when she had told him her name was Ping, and folded his arms under his chest in that impatient manner of his, figuring what to say. *Author recalls how sexy Shang was at that moment, and fans herself Mulan's anger ebbed when she recalled how sexy Shang was that moment, wondering if it was bad luck to roll around like crazed weasels in front of the Ancestors. Well, it was bad luck for a girl to join the Army, since when had that stopped her. "Mulan, are you alright?" He asked her with an annoying amount of patience, masking his confusion. He did not scold her for breaking yet another sacred law, women in China were not allowed to have PMS - ever since a frustrated housewife had sliced off her husband's manhood with a ceremonial sword - it was considered bad luck for bearing sons.   
"I'm fine," she murmured, still staring into the tablets, and at a gilded incense burner fashioned into the shape of a dragon.   
"A strange thing happened at Court today," Shang delicately tried to begin a conversation, stepping clear of any touchy subjects. He knelt down beside Mulan, placing an arm around her shoulder. "With Chi Fu," Recounting the incident should have distracted her from her mood, but instead her frown became more and more sullen by the word.   
"I tried to warn you," she said angrily. "but you didn't listen. Just like when I tried to warn you about the Huns."   
Shang sighed, wishing he had a shovel to dig his way out of this one. "I'm sorry, Mulan, it's not that I don't trust you, I do. It's just... " She cut him off by kissing him as thoroughly as she knew how. By this time Shang was hopelessly confused, so was Mulan, who was momentarily possessed by the author's desires. .   
Pulling back from her gently, Shang smiled. "No respect for your ancestors."   
"Nope," a goofy voice agreed with him. "She never listens to a word I say... do ya, girl? Always runnin' off, lightin' cannons and..."   
"Mulan... " Shang's dark eyes were open wide, he drew back warily from the dragon that had suddenly come to life. "That incense burner is talking to me."   
She watched as the golden carving transformed into a thin red dragon that eagerly stretched it's limbs, peering up at them with those mischievous round eyes. "Then you should talk back," she suggested to her husband simply.   
Mushu sprang on to her shoulder, his long occupied place of honor. She bent to kiss her old friend on the head, before he turned to Shang. "That's right I'm talkin' to ya, pretty boy, and boy do I have a thing or two to say!" Placing his hands on his hips, Mushu glared at the General, but Mulan quickly snatched him away.   
"Mushu..." she began irritably.   
"Oh, sorry, babe." But he was still looking critically at Shang. "I told you you liked him! But noooo, had to go and deny it, couldn't tell Mushu... " He raised his voice in a high pitched tone, swaying his hips. "Nooo, I- For what it's worth, I think you're a grrrrrrrreat Captain." Mulan, unfortunately, did not get his Tony the Tiger impression. Instead, she just slapped the red dragon flat on the ground.   
"Dishonor!" Mushu got up in a huff   
Shang grabbed Mushu in his fist. "That's enough," he ordered in his voice of command. "Mulan, what is this lizard?" He demanded of his wife.   
"This is Mushu," she answered, also in a huff. "My Guardian."   
Mushu was indignant. "I'm a dragoooooon! Mulan knows I don't do that tongue thing."   
"Mulan knows WHAT?!?!?!?!" Shang was furious. Seeing how Mulan and Mushu were both snickering, Shang took a deep breath. "Oh, not that tongue thing." he mumbled, relieved.   
"You were the last person I thought would their mind in the gutter, guess I know what you two have been-" Mushu shook a claw at Shang, who dealt the second slap. Mulan was hiding her face in her hands, dreadfully embarrassed. But to her comfort, Mushu dropped his antics and got up again. "Alright, you wanted the answer to your dream," he told Mulan calmly.   
Mulan nodded. "I want to know the truth."   
"You can't handle the truth!" *Author slaps herself before anyone else does*   
"MUSHU!" Mulan, Shang and the First Ancestor (Whom the two mortals could not hear) all screamed at once.   
"Alright! No one get their panties in a bunch!" Taking a deep breath, Mushu appeared visibly constrained at not being able to crack more jokes. The two of them wondered what "panties" were, but decided to let it pass. Probably one of the strange edible things Mushu always talked about, like corn chips. "The truth about your dream, Mulan, is that Shan-yu lives, but not as Shan-Yu. That's all I know."   
Shang was skeptical. "That's it?" he growled. "Sounds like a lucky guess."   
"Shang," Mulan took her husband's hand. "We could all be in danger. We have to do something, warn the Emperor. Something." She shot him a pleading look, which he answered with a worried frown. "You're word carries weight around the Palace, you must go."   
Considering this, Shang rose to his feet, pulling his wife up with him. "I think we should both go," he concluded. Mushu could not agree more, if Shang had his way he would be storming the Palace and dueling with Shan-Yu's men. Really, he watched too much Tv."The Emperor will listen to you." He led her by the hand out of the temple, as if it were a dangerous place for her.   
Hopping down the stone steps after them, Mushu bounced up on to Shang's shoulder. He kind of liked the big guy, despite his sadistic and abusive streak he was a 90's sensitive male after all. Besides, his cape matched his scales wonderfully. "What about me, pretty boy?" He asked with his most irresistible grin. Everyone knew Shang was a sucker, no matter how tough he tried to be.   
"If you behave," The words were for Mushu, but the look was for both of them.   


Chapter 4: The Quill is Mightier... *Author wonders how she can complete a story without hurting Shan-Yu - not that she wants to hurt him, for some reason she perceives him as a big cuddly teddy bear, There is a saying "Be respectful of those who died with a sword in there hand" (or attached to their cape)   


When Mulan arrived at the Imperial Palace the whispers had already swept though the halls. All of them knew she had been married to Li Shang, but most seemed to believe it was a reluctant arrangement that was the design of a matchmaker or of Fa Zhou. The sight of the pair walking close to each other and smiling had sent gossip the Court awash with gossip, no expected their great General to love this creature. Several of the ladies still eyed Shang suggestively as they passed, but Mulan fixed them with a firm stare. They knew she could kick their collective ass.   
Shang escorted her down a long hall decorated in silk hangings and fine carpets to an impressive pair of iron doors that could only be to a throne room. The guards at the door bowed to Shang and admitted him without question, while they hardly glanced at Mulan, and bowed ever so slightly when Shang gave them her name. Mulan only nodded at them briefly, they could go sit on some fireworks for all she cared.   
"The guy with the small penis complex is there - Chi Fu," Mushu whispered from behind Mulan's collar. Sure enough the seat at the Emperor's right hand was occupied by the twiggish little man. Shang and Mulan wore an identical frown of annoyance, and uneasiness.   
"Your Majesty," Shang and Mulan bowed, "My wife comes to you with news of dire import." Upon seeing Mulan, the Emperor smiled and motioned for the pair to rise.   
Chi Fu did not look too pleased at their entrance however. "Fa Mulan," The Emperor greeted her before his counsel man could speak. "Or it is the Lady Li Mulan now is it not?" Both Mulan and Shang nodded. "It is good to see you at Court. General Li, I trust you have told your wife that her presence is requested at our banquet tomorrow night." It was not a question.   
Mulan kept a straight face, she was not going to embarrass her husband in front the Emperor, he had done that badly enough already by not understanding a simple riddle about flowers in adversity. Thankfully Shang was quicker thinking this time. "Yes, it has been a month since China's victory, and if we are to honor our heroes to whom we owe our freedom, then of course Mulan knows she must be there." She simply nodded and grinned stupidly, see, she could be a perfect wife sometimes.   
"Yes," the Emperor agreed. "Yao, Ling and Chien-Po must be there as well. I have a niece I would like to match with one of them." Curling his lip, Shang did what he knew best - when to shut up. The man was entirely too interested in young people's love lives. Not that he had any complaints about his marriage that the Emperor had blessed, Mulan's tricks with phallic objects such as swords, arrows, and cannons (and basically every other weapon since war is all about which side has the bigger penis anyway) paled in comparison to the things she did in bed, especially that time she had tied him up with his cape. But then again, maybe the old man had some right to be, aged as he was he still had concubines young enough to be granddaughters, Shang remembered the two girls who had stood to either side of the Emperor at the victory parade. Amazing, since viagra had not even been invented yet.   
Smiling politely, Shang bowed. "Of course, all will be in attendance. It is a marvelous idea, Your Majesty." Well, not really. The sight of the man with those girls was like being reminded that your grandparents still had sex.   
"It was Chi Fu's idea," he admitted. Chi Fu smiled, Mulan and Shang exchanged worried looks. Mushu whispered something cautionary.   
The counselor rose to his feet. "Yes, a celebration," his hand made a sweeping arc to encompass the two of them. "Where you will all... BOW TO ME!" He thrust his quill at Mulan and Shang like a sword, a dazed but menacing gleam in his eyes. Shang had his hand on the hilt of his sword and was prepared to draw it and run forward when Mulan caught his arm, casting a meaningful look to the Emperor.   
"Chi Fu!" The Emperor roared. "have you been in my opium again?"   
"Uh.... ummmm..... Your Majesty?" Chi Fu did not know what to say.   
Shang tried to shrug Mulan off, but she had a grip. "Not now," she whispered. "Let me speak to the Emperor first." She released her hold, and Shang remained sensibly still.   
Jumping down from the steps of the dais, Chi Fu pointed his quill at Shang's throat. "Your father bowed to me before I ran this through his heart."   
"He killed the General with a quill?" Mushu was confused. "I guess the pen really is mightier than the sword."   
Before Mulan could reach out, Shang already had his hand around Chi Fu's throat, the rage in his eyes even made Mushu fall silent. "Shang!" Mulan protested, Chi Fu's face was already reddening as he gasped for air, trying to furiously to cough around the closing pressure of Shang's grip. "Your Majesty!" She looked in pleading to the Emperor, who, too, was stunned. Mushu leaped from Mulan's collar and quickly breathed the smallest spark of fire onto Shang's hand, causing him to scream and drop Chi Fu to the floor.   
Rushing to her husband's side, Mulan reached for his hand to examine it. It was not bad, only a small burn, but it must have hurt terribly. His eyes were still clouded over with fury, and disbelief at where he was and what he had done. Of course, no one noticed Mushu, apparently being a bright red dragon made others oblivious to your presence even though you stood under the bright light of the sunshine for all to see.   
"Your Majesty," Shang whispered nervously. "I-" he glanced down at Chi Fu, who was still crumpled on the floor gasping for breath.   
The Emperor took in the sight of the struggling Chi Fu, and of his General's wife who was so tenderly holding her husband's injured hand, and the shocked look on Li Shang's face. "It will teach Chi Fu to take it easy on the opium. Be at ease, General."   
"Sir," Mulan began respectfully, seeing no better time. "Was the body of Shan-Yu, or that of his men ever found?"   
Blinking in surprise, the Emperor considered the question carefully. "Young lady, we searched for days, and no body was found. Why do you ask?"   
Stepping away from Shang, Mulan slowly approaching the steps of the dais, kneeling at the Emperor's feet and speaking low so no one could hear her. "You Excellency, I have had this dream, of Shan-Yu. I feel we are in danger, that you are in danger." For a moment, she dared to look the Emperor in the eye, he was listening to her with great intensity. "My ancestors have sent me this dream, just as they have guided me through the days of battle. I know it is true."   
"Child," his tone was very fond. "We will see. For now, go comfort your husband."   
Bowing again, Mulan turned to Shang and the pair exited the room, no one made a move to help Chi Fu to his feet.   


Chapter 5: An Apple For Serenity *Author has had caffeine again, and therefore is unable to live up to her most recent compliment of being tasteful. She apologizes hehehe Well, there's no rice in this chapter if that makes it better. However, I did manage something witty, but be assured it was by complete accident*

"We need a plan." Mulan announced to Shang, Mushu and the Gang of Three who had all been gathered in the Li family parlor.   
Ling and Yao looked to each other, Chien-Po looked lost.   
Shang shrugged. "We're all ears, Mulan."   
"Why do I always have to be the one with the bright ideas?" She snapped. Being the heroine was irritating, people expected way too much out of you.   
"Because you never like my ideas," Shang snapped back. Being a secondary hero was even more annoying, nobody ever gave you enough credit. "If you had listened to me about aiming the cannon at Shan-Yu he would have died a whole day sooner, you would have never been wounded, no one would have known you were a woman. It just would have been a whole lot easier."   
Mulan rose to her feet, glaring at her husband. "Oh? Well what about Shan-Yu's army? They still could have killed us all and would have come back for revenge anyway." Men!   
"They would have retreated!" Shang insisted. "Shan-yu's death would have destroyed their chain of command and they would not have known what to do. Hey, we could have even captured a few and brainwashed them. All we'd have to do is isolate them from their superiors and put the lowest ranks in charge to shatter the bonds of leadership and camaraderie. We would have known all the Hun secrets."   
"Where did you get your degree in sociology?" Mushu hopped onto Shang's lap   
Yao laughed his gravely laugh. "Yeah, would have been easier than wearing a dress."   
Mulan whirled on him. "You shut up, King of the Rock!"   
The stout man grew red in the face while Ling and Chien-Po doubled over with laughter.   
"No wonder you were covering your eyes," Ling could hardly get the words out, he was laughing so hard.   
Shang was confused. "Covering your eyes from what?"   
"Ummmm.... " All four said in unison.   
Chien-Po saved them. "Yao's sword." He said it with a perfectly straight face.   
"That's ridiculous," Shang laughed, obviously with no clue. Sometimes he could be so serious. "She was looking at mine the day I met her at camp."   
The room was filled with a silence so strained, tears of painfully bottled laughter appeared in the corners of their eyes.   
"Anyway," Mulan changed the subject before things could get any worse, she had forgotten her crankiness in light of Shang's purity of thought. "If Shan-Yu's ghost has taken over Chi Fu and no body has been found. We must look for one and destroy it before Shan-Yu can take his own form again. Or we must find a way to stop Chi Fu tomorrow night."   
Shaking his head, Shang gently took Mulan's hand and pulled her back down on the sofa. It made him nervous when she stomped around in front of him. Women were vicious at arguments, they always brought up the things that left you no room to defend yourself. "If Shan-Yu's body has not been destroyed in the explosion wouldn't he have inhabited it already?" Ha! He had outsmarted the witty heroine. "I say the five of us spy on Chi Fu tonight." The Gang of Three nodded their heads in agreement. Mulan only smiled blandly, she hated logical solutions with a passion.

***

Chi Fu tossed and turned inside the silk sheets that entangled him like a canon, sleep would not come to him that night. His head was plagued with thoughts of the towering Hun whose spirit had possessed him, and though he feared himself dreadfully disheveled, he feared even worse venturing near a looking glass. What did Shan-Yu want with him? And why had his spirit not died along with his body in the explosion?   
"Rise and shine," Shan-Yu's voice purred in that sensual tone he had used when he had dropped down from the roof before the Emperor. *Author turns up the AC in mid winter*A screech tore from Chi Fu's lips as he bolted upright. Two voices in one body, and a spirit that had control of its own, particularly when the General or Mulan were around. It was too frightened to bear with trembling.   
Huddled inside the silken covers, Chi Fu spoke through chattered teeth. "Why do you choose me? Why not Fa Mulan or the General? I am merely an old man, please," he begged, shamelessly wiping tears from his wrinkled cheeks   
But his pleading was only regarded with laughter, laughter that rolled through Chi Fu's mind like an earthquake.   
"Because," the Hun replied quietly. "The people need to witness the deaths of their heroes. Tomorrow night, at the victory banquet." Chi Fu only shuddered. He was a pawn. "Now," Chi Fu was suddenly planted on his feet, yanked by the frills of his blue satin dressing gown. "If I cannot have my body, than I must have my sword." Chi-Fu screamed as he was whirled into his robes of state and dragged out of his room by the collar.

***

Rummaging through a box under their bed, Mulan sifted through countless items of sentimental value until she found what she wanted. She tossed aside lotus hair combs, the severed locks of her hair which she saved for hair color strand tests when she got bored, a rotten apple which would explain her lack of serenity lately, beads of jade for beauty, a pendant for balance, some ridiculous make up that would be the fashion of gothic punks in the future, and a little doll. It was not THE doll, but one similar, nothing ever explained her curious attachment to that doll she had found in Tung Shao pass. Well, no matter, it was only one unresolved plot thread.   
Finally she found the short pants and wrap around tunic that had been her training uniform. Quickly putting the clothes on, Mulan examined the effect in the mirror. No wonder Shang sauntered around with that "i'm too sexy for my shirt" look, the clothes made her feel masculine, powerful, a vessel of testosterone just wanting to explode. Ha! Take that, Princess Jasmine, Mulan shook her nonexistent hips and grinned.   
Throwing the extraneous objects back in the box, Mulan glanced about the room, fearing something amiss. Everything seemed in order, Shang's practice dart board fashioned out of Chi Fu's simpering visage, along with his boyhood baseball trophies and April Chippendale pose a modeling agency had managed to snap while Shang was discarding his shirt at the training camp, poised to fire an arrow. The picture was enscripted with the caption "A man is not a man unless he knows how to shoot." Shang furiously tried to burn the thing when he found out, but Mulan insisted it made him appear the Eastern equivalent of Rico Suave. There was her own stuff too, silly childhood drawings, things she had taken from her own house, the emperor's crest... the sword of Shan-Yu..   
The sword of Shan-Yu.... ?   
Uh.oh.   
"Shang! Mushu!" Mulan screamed at the top of her lungs.   
Both of the named came running through the doorway, trailed by the Gang of Three who were staring at her as worried as though they expected to find her bleeding to death on the floor.   
"What's wrong?" Shang asked his wife with concern.   
"It's gone," Mulan said quietly from her place on the floor, still filling up her box again.   
Mushu hopped from Shang's shoulder to sit beside her. "What's gone, babe?"   
"Wait a minute... " Yao lifted a hand. "Why do you have a rotten apple?"   
"It's for serenity!" Mulan growled furiously, tossing the spoiled fruit at Yao's head.   
The five males nodded. That explained a lot.   
"Shan-Yu's sword is gone." She announced after the apple had bounced back by her hand, she threw it back in the box. "It was hanging right here and now it's gone.   
Grabbing Mulan's arm, Shang helped her to her feet. "Come on," he ordered her and the men in his most heroic of tones. "There isn't a moment to lose."

Chapter Five: A great hair-do

It was not hard to sneak around the grounds of the Imperial Palace to Chi Fu's window. The Imperial Guards, a troupe of unconvincing boys who could not act to save their already endangered lives, had the same ten second brain delay as the guards at the Wall, only the Imperial scouts were slightly more astute, in the sense that they had the ability to utter complete sentences, instead of using all their concentration to figure out what had knocked the helmet off their head.   
All it took was an order from Shang to send the guards off. No one thought anything suspicious of a General leading a small band of soldiers outside the window of the Emperor's right hand. The fact there was no love between the General and the advisor did not even make the spectacle smell even slightly of treason. Why would there be treason? The guards laughed. No treachery could exist in a land where the Emperor shared his opium with the soldiers, putting them in an Imperial stupor. Then again, perhaps that had been the reason civil war had not ravished the Chinese for so long. They had the Huns to ravish them besides, although there were numerous rumors that young maidens often gave themselves willingly to Shan-Yu, and hey who could blame them?   
Anyway, the party was crouched outside of Chi Fu's chambers, waiting for the prissy old man to return. Yao suggested that perhaps he found himself in another lady's room for the night. Shang found that hysterically amusing   
"Yeah right," Mushu too was humored. "The only thing that could get him up at night is his bladder." Mulan slapped Mushu, she was tired of being traumatized by men.   
Shang sighed, annoyed. "We'll just wait here until he comes back."   
"What if he doesn't come back?" Ling asked, a bit scared. "What if he's out there burning villages and stealing children's toys again?" The prospect was genuinely frightening to the skinny man.   
Patting him on the shoulder, Shang smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, Ling," he said with perfectly masked sarcasm. "I'm prepared to defend your favorite doll with my life, and those of my men." Mulan cleared her throat. "And women," he added quickly.   
"Yeah," Yao patted his other shoulder. "No one's gonna let that mean old Hun take away the only girl you'll ever have." Mushu and Chien-Po burst out laughing   
Mulan stood up, "Look there he is!"   
Through the silken curtains and the tawny glow of light, a thin figure moved through the doorway with a grace that was unnatural. He seemed to be moving as though he were a much larger figure trapped in a smaller body. When he reached the center of the room, Chi Fu drew something from his waist, a sword with a blade like a writhing serpent. He held it aloft in both hands, and then one, dancing through the sword forms with the poise of a man twenty years younger. Mulan gasped, reminded of the time she had spied on her father doing much the same thing.   
"Get down!" Shang pulled her sleeve, yanking her back between him and Chien-Po. "What is with you and giving hiding places away?"   
She blinked in confusion, there were no bugs to blame this time.   
"Shang," Mulan said all of a sudden, as though she had forgotten her friends were there." I have to tell you something."   
He arched his brow, wary. "Yes...?"   
Swallowing hard, Mulan did her best to look him in the eye. "You know that time when you and Shan-Yu were fighting? Rolling around like two lions in the jungle?" Her eyes misted over, seduced by the memory.   
"Ummm... yes." Shang was really frightened for the first time in his life.   
"Well I kind of like it."   
"That's nice, dear," Was all he could say.   
Yao interrupted them, to Shang's great joy. "Look!" he was pointed to a gap in the draperies, narrow, but just wide enough for a clear view at the right angle. Chi Fu was holding the jagged blade away from his face, where the flat side revealed to him his reflection in the brightly polished steel. Only it was not his reflection, it was the swarthy face with a wolf's golden eyes.   
Mulan drew had her hand on the hilt of her sword.... I meant her father's sword.... "We must stop him. Chien-Po you go around through the door, Yao and Ling you go distract the guards. Shang you do the most dangerous job because the rest of us suck. I'll just watch and yell out instructions from here...."   
Shang had his hand over her mouth, forcing her to stay still with an arm around her. "We can't do that," he whispered. Sometimes the girl did not have much conception of the way the world worked. "They'll execute as all for treason if they think we've murdered the Emperor's counsel. We need proof."   
"Anyone got a video camera?" Mushu suggested shyly.   
"No," The General shook his head. "The only proof is if he is caught trying to harm the Emperor directly. It's a flaw of our criminal justice system."   
Pulling Shang's hand away, Mulan frowned. "What would you're father have done?" She asked Shang, at a loss. Politics were just not her thing.   
"Actually," he sounded a tad bit embarrassed. "My father wasn't such a great guy, he had an innocent man framed for treason. That's why I never bothered to care about avenging his death." It was true, Shang never even had mentioned it.   
Ling was impatient. "Well what are we gonna do?"   
"I know," said the General. "All we have to do is keep him from hurting the Emperor tonight, I am sure he will strike at the banquet tomorrow. We will be prepared to stop him then. For now," he smiled at the Gang of Three. "How about those dresses, ladies?"   
The three men groaned, afraid it would come to this.

***

It only took a few moments to apply the make-up to the three men's faces, Mulan had become quite crafty with the stuff. It was entirely convenient that the Palace had random closets filled with women's cosmetics and wardrobe, ideal for the clever tricks of small war parties. Poor Shan-Yu, he never knew the truth. He did not need an army to overtake the Palace, all he needed was a great hair-do.   
"Chien-Po," Mulan instructed. "Go the kitchens and ask for dumplings filled with opium, just a small amount, mind. Say that you have a headache and wish a good night's sleep."   
Mushu grinned, sitting on Mulan's shoulder. "Yeah, just tell them you're Chi Fu's concubine, they'll understand." Chien-Po paled in disgust.   
Shang rested a hand on the large man's shoulder. "Just close your eyes and think of China."   
Everyone but Chien-Po laughed.   
When Chien-Po returned with the dumplings, the others were ready. Guards stood outside Chi Fu's door, as the man was terrified of thieves, assassins, rapists who targeted elderly men, and curious people who would sift through his portfolios of raunchy sketches of soldiers bathing in the lake. Yao was a centerfold after all.   
The man was still working through the sword forms, but even though he was possessed by Shan-Yu's spirit, a body could be limiting. Ling and Yao did not even have to fight the guards outside the door, the sight of Ling adjusting his... apples... was enough for them. Shang charged through the door with Mulan behind him, carrying the tray of desserts in her hands. Chi Fu screamed when he saw the intruders, but Shang was behind him with a hand over his mouth, his sword drawn.   
"One sound and I'll slit your throat," he pressed the point to his skin, nearly drawing blood.   
Chi Fu only laughed, his own laugh. It seemed Shan-Yu had disappeared. "Just like your father," he whispered. Shang did not understand what he meant, nor did he care to ask. Did Shan-Yu leave him so he could kill Chi Fu?   
Mulan held up her tray. "Eat these," she ordered, holding up one of the dumplings. Chi Fu shrank back in horror, as if she had handed him a poisonous viper. "It will not harm you," she made her voice more gentle, feeling pity for the man who tried to hide his terror behind bitter words. "You have my word."   
"What good is the word of a woman?" He sneered.   
Shang pressed the blade a little closer. "Do what she says," he commanded in a quietly venemous tone. "I have not given my word."   
"I will have you arrested," he squealed as Mulan shoved the dumplings into his mouth.   
They carried him over to the bed, knowing he would not remember this in the morning. They left the sword with him, as a taunt that Shan-Yu would strike tomorrow night.

***

The Imperial banquet was attended by all members of rank at Court, as well their wives and adult children. Only the most beautiful of serving girls tended the affair, carrying savory dishes and tea and rice wine, bowing to the men and women resplendent in their finery.   
The four male soldiers were their dress uniforms, and Mulan wore her training clothes beneath a fine gown of crimson silk. Her face was artfully painted like the rest of the women, though she hardly felt like one of them. They were all smiling politely behind their fans, while their eyes showered her with a thousand unspoken insults. Basically, over the centuries women did not change a bit. The men were clueless to this however, thinking how nice that the women got along.   
Mushu pinched Shang when Chi Fu made his entrance, he had his wife were too busy playing footsie under the table, and boy were they good at it! It was a pity the old fool had to enter right before Mulan was about to drop her napkin, Shang frowned. He still had a dazed look on his face, and even smiled at Mulan. Maybe the opium had done him good. The Emperor made the last grand entrance, yellow robes and all. Everyone bowed, and the old man made a speech about the Middle Kingdom and victory and some other nonsense that nobody really paid attention to.   
"Lady Li Mulan," The Emperor smiled at her fondly. "You honor us with your presence." It was then that Shang finally figured out the man's fascination with their marriage. He was secretly plotting to enforce the Eastern equivalent of Primo Nocte, only his proclaimation would have an Ex Post Facto. Needless to say, Shang was more than willing to let the old bastard die, in fact he would even help.   
Mulan bowed her head, smiling. With a grandmother like hers, Mulan probably thought all old people were just perverts naturally.   
Anywise, the food was good and the conversation settled mostly around war and the reinforcements brought to the Wall, the men ventured into lofty discussions of football and beer choices, will the women counteracted with veiled sexual comments.   
Suddenly, Chi Fu stood up, stabbing at his meat with his chopsticks. "You will kneel in pieces!" He screamed to the food. Great, Shang thought, not only did they have Shan-Yu's spirit to deal with, but an angry Shan-Yu on opium. "You!" he ran from his place at the table and grabbed some random and unsuspecting member of the audience by the throat. "You took away my victory!" The poor person, a slight and slender young lady, looked dreadfully confused behind her mask of make up.   
The Emperor laughed. "Poor Chi Fu is getting old." The guests laughed politely with him.   
"I think not, Your Majesty." Li Shang rose from his seat and walked over to the old advisor. Producing a knife, Shang held the flat of the blade before Chi Fu's face. "Look at him, he is healthy as ever."   
Everyone in the room shared a gasp of horror. Shan Yu's face stared back at them.   
Chi Fu pulled the knife from Shang's hand, flipping it into the air. It flashed menacingly in its trajectory, the point nearly landing in Shang's arm, but the General quickly ducked aside. "You will die," Chi Fu snarled between his missing teeth.   
"Treason!" Someone screamed   
"Exercist!" Mushu demanded.   
Missing another blow of the knife, Shang threw himself on the ground and kicked Chi Fu onto the banquet table, sending him crashing into plates and goblets with chopsticks poking him in the most uncomfortable of places. The guests rushed to their feet, backing away from the violent spectacle. Chi Fu stood up on the table, drawing Shan Yu's sword from somewhere beneath his robes. He leapt from the table in front of Shang, but Mulan jumped between them, then thought how stupid that was because she was unarmed. Shang pushed her out of the way, but not before Mulan flourished a fan from her dress. The General grabbed it from her hand, then threw it back to her, realizing he had no clue how to use the thing. Chi Fu thrust with the sword, and Mulan repeated her legendary trick with her weapon of choice, aiming the sword at Chi Fu's throat.   
The old man threw himself at her, but Mulan held the blade steady, and Chi Fu ran straight into it, before collapsing onto the ground.   


Chapter Seven: Bow to me

The four men stood beside Mulan in a circle around the dying Chi Fu. The counsel member choked and struggled as blood oozed from his mouth onto the fine patterned carpets. Still coughing, and struggling with impending death, Chi Fu twitched and convulsed where he lay while the watching party stood their in morbid fascination, once again making no move to help. Well, they all had to admit beneath their stunned expressions, it was kind of funny... in a Quintan Terrantinoish way   
"Ancestors," Mulan breathed, burying her face in her hands. "First I destroyed the Emperor's Palace, now I kill his advisor. He's going to really kill me this time."   
Ling put his hand on her shoulder. "You did it to save China," he tried to be soothing. "I'm sure His Majesty will forgive you."   
"Yeah, he never liked Chi Fu anyway," Yao put in.   
Shang was only looking on in silence, feeling pangs of guilt about that dart board.   
The group parted to make way for the Emperor, who seemed to float across the ground rather than walk, he managed yet another perfectly regal entrance in the midst of chaos. "Chi Fu," The old man said sadly, well, not too terribly sadly, but it was convincing enough for the reporters.   
Bowing her head, Mulan stepped before the Emperor. "I killed him Your Majesty," she admitted, with great shame in her voice. "I believed him possessed by the spirit of Shan-Yu." Her eyes fell on the discarded weapon in her hand, and on red proof staining the blade. "I killed him," she said again, mourning the loss of her blood innocence.   
"Li Mulan," The Emperor pronounced, as solemn as thought it was a death sentence. It was. "You have slain my counsel man, but you saved us all." Didn't he ever get tired of saying that? Again, the Emperor bowed his head to the young heroine, followed by the Gang of Three and all the guests in the room. Chi Fu's body convulsed one final time, rolling him onto his face, even the corpse seemed prostrate at her feet in self sacrifice. Only Shang stood tall.   
Gently, ever so gently, the General pried the serpentine weapon from his wife's trembling fingers. She did not protest, but the let the thing pass into his hold, glad to be rid of it as though the sword in itself were her enemy. His eyes slid over her as she stood there, touched with pain.   
Then, like a stroke of lighting, the curved blade flashed under the lantern light, more blinding than the sun. Mulan opened her eyes, still hazed with stars from the glare. She stopped, feeling her throat tighten as she tried to breath. Shang had the sword pointed at her heart.   
"Now you will BOW TO ME!"   
Mulan blinked, faint with fear. Staring up into her husband's eyes she nearly dropped to the floor. They were no longer the dark pools in which she had willingly drowned herself over and over, but instead they were hard chips of golden amber, like the sun that gave no warmth. Those glorious yellow eyes... the eyes of a killer staring back at her from her lover's face.   
"Shang, stop!" She pleaded, praying it was some jest, some nightmare that would shatter with her words. "You're scaring me."   
He only laughed the telltale Shan-Yu laugh(TM)   
Pressing the sword point forward, Shang lunged at Mulan, who jumped back just in time to miss having her heart pierced with the blade. Desperately, she seized Shang's arm and tried to push the blade away from her, in the air. But he sliced down on her, forcing her to drop the floor and roll furiously away from his slashing blade. "Stop!" Yao roared from behind him, jumping on Shang's back to catch his arm. Shang bent forward and flipped the man over his head and onto the floor before Mulan. Yao landed with the sword point down inside his chest.   
"You killed him!" Mulan screamed, gazing in horror at the blood spattered body of her friend. Shang only bent calmly to retrieve his weapon, kicking Yao's body out of the way."You're a monster!" She threw herself at Shang, struggling to claw the blade from his strong hands. The two of them tumbled to the ground, rolling over one another in a series of kicks and blows that soon had both their hands covered in blood. He was much heavier, and stronger, but Mulan had not forgotten the things she had learned in her warrior training. She managed to deliver one powerful kick that sent him flying off of her, and turning over one more time Mulan landed on her feet with the sword in her hands, poised to strike.   
Shang turned over as well, wiping blood from his mouth. He looked up at Mulan but this time his eyes were dark again and not golden. So frightened.   
"Mulan," he half whispered in his usual voice. "Please... " The word struck her at the very core of her heart, as she stood over him with the sword. Her head swam with memories, memories of him looming over her with her own sword, memories of Shan Yu with the blade at his throat. So many memories, all jumbled together so vivid, so fast, she could not tell one man from the other. But the eyes, so helpless and pleading, moved her. Slowly, fearfully, she lowered her hand... the hilt ready to fall from her grasp.   
"I'm so sorry..." She began, tears forming in her eyes as she sank to her knees, reaching for him.   
But just as they were about to embrace, the eyes gleamed yellow again. The laughter.   
Firmly planting a foot in Shang's stomach, she tore herself way from his arms. In the next minute the blade was in her hand, and she drove it through his heart like a stake. "A life for a life!" She screamed, glancing over at the crumpled heap that had once been her dear friend Yao... her secret lover, the father of her unborn child, her soulmate, her everything, her punching bag when she needed someone to abuse, her beloved King of the Rock... "My debt is repaid." She didn't know what debt, but she had heard that the critics gave great value to continuity.   
Gurggling blood and twitching just as Chi Fu had, Shang laid there and died like a man. He whined, and screamed with little tears trickling from his eyes, calling for his long dead Mama as blood frothed from his mouth.   
She dropped to her knees, cradling her husband's head in her lap, disbelieving of what she had done. "I killed him," she repeated over and over, the horror setting in deeper with each word.   
The only answer was Shan-Yu's laughter(TM) ringing in her ears.   
"I always wanted to be inside of you, Li Mulan," the voice cackled loudly   
"No," Mulan cried out in panic. Her hand, stripped of its free will, moved to free the sword from Shang's chest. The blade was stained with the blood of three men, one that she had hated, one that she loved, and the other that had been her friend. But control over her limbs had been abandoned, given way to a strange possession that brought her to her feet, running towards Ling and Chien Po with her hands waving the blade menacingly above her head.   
The pair broke into a run, bounding towards the balcony with identically high pitched cries of terror. When finally the stone railing brought them to a dead end, they turned to face Mulan who was still slashing her way towards them, her eyes unrelenting. Glancing at her, than at the balcony below, the two friends flung themselves over the edge, landing in a disgusting double splat on the ground stories below. A shame for whomever had to clean that up. The heartlessness of the spirit inside of her numbed her to the pain of their loss, but only filled her mind with driving need for vengeance. All of the guests had fled by this time, only the Emperor remained, unguarded.   
"Li Mulan," he began dramatically. "you have slain my advisor, your husband and your closest friends, dirtied my carpet, ruined my banquet, impersonated a psychopath, broken the sacred law about PMS... AND!" She clenched her teeth, back to herself again for the moment. "you have saved us all."   
"Ahhhhhhhh!" She yelled, tired of hearing that, tired of being so culturally incorrectly called "Li Mulan." Then the weaepon in her hands came up again, this time with the point turning inwards towards her throat. She tried to scream, but her vocal cords failed her. There was a burning pain as sharpened metal tore through delicate skin, a ripping that sent a rush of blood down her front. She fell.   
And as she took in her last glimpse of light, as she drew her dying breath, laughter whispered in her ears, soft as the tide. Shan-Yu's laughter(TM)

***

Shan-Yu smiled proudly at the corpses littering that lavish carpet, and at the overturned chairs and dropped plates that once arrayed so fine a banquet table. It almost reminded him of the end of the Hamlet, although he was far too crafty for poisoned wine. Funny, he had known Ling and Chien-Po were more Romans than Danes, they didn't call them the Gang of Three for nothing. *Admiring her clever use of a Shakespeare quote*   
His smile widened as he watched the Emperor standing alone, shocked at the scene before him. He would show him how loud the wind could howl. A mountain can crumble, but the wind could never be broken. Laughing loudly, Shan-Yu threw himself into the Emperor's body, not without a wince. Even the shriveled Chi Fu and the tiny girl soldier were better than this!   
Dragging the old man out of the Imperial Banquet Hall, Shan-Yu shoved him in front of a long mirror hanging in a corridor, enjoying the Emperor's terror upon seeing Shan-Yu's face staring back at him. "bow to me," he whispered inside the Emperor's head, yanking him face down before his reflection in the glass.   
Shan-Yu laughed. China was his, Mulan was dead. He had found victory at last.   


*** EPILOGUE***

"Li Tai tai!" Something was shaking her, she struggled away from it, forcing herself onto her stomach to free herself from Shan-Yu's hold within her own body. "Lady Li!" a familiar voice screamed in her ear, bursting with excited impatience.   
She opened her eyes to nothing but darkness, and a sliml figure of her serving girl standing over her.   
"The ghost of Shan-Yu... " it was a breathless whisper.   
The hand shaking her became more gentle, and when her eyes adjusted, she cringed. It had all been a nightmare? Yes, of course it had beem!... Shang was still away on duty at the Great Wall, she had been dreaming of him coming home.   
"There is a messanger outside, Lady Li" The servant sat on the bed beside her. "He asks to see you immediately." Helping her up and into a robe, the girl led her out of the room.   
Mulan hurried to the door. The messanger was a man in Imperial armor, riding a fine white horse. He bowed to the General's wife, apologizing for disturbing her at such an early hour.   
"Lady Li," he addressed her respectuflly. "I bring a messange that your husband is riding home and will return in a week."   
Her heart raced, Shang had been gone for a month! But she tried to keep her composure. "Did he send no personal letter for his wife, soldier?" In the back of her mind, Mulan often wondered if Shang forced himself to feel what he professed to feel for her. She knew he cared for her, but feared he had married her only to please the Emperor. It was a foolish doubt.   
"No, Lady Li," The man said, not without some hesitation. He gathered his reins and turned his horse around, back in the direction he had come.   
Mulan only looked on sadly.   
Glancing back over his shoulder, the messanger steered his horse to face her again. "Lady Li Mulan," he sounded very reluctant, staring deeply into her face as if he must know he every thought. "The General Li Shang sends to you his undying love, and this," he placed a folded note in her hand and rode off into the night.   
Mulan hastily unwrapped the paper and frowned at what she saw, reading the two words aloud with shock.

He Lives.   


The End   
I hope that cheesey ending satisfies all the promises I made not to hurt Shang or Shan-Yu   
  


Disclaimer: I am not obsessed with any handsome red cape swirling, eyebrow arching, honorably inclinced, muscle-bound, dark-eyed captains of the Chinese Imperial Army, nor with their authoratavie walk or sweeping hand gestures. Nor am I obsessed with any deep voiced, seven foot tall antagonists of Mongolian origen, nor with their wolfish grace or golden eyes. Shang, Mulan, Chi Fu, Shan-Yu, Mushu, the Emperor, the Gang of Three, Khan and Shang's horse (who shall go nameless) are all the property of the Walt Disney company. However, the first emendmant grants me the right to abuse them in whichever way I may for non-commercial use. This story is Copyright 2000 Qian-Lei (aka Lian Hua) and may not be reproduced, either in part or entirety without the expressed written permission of the author.   
  



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